Crack Clan TF2 Battle Report #1

Over two weeks ago Crack Clan TF2 invited the world and his wife to join us on our ETF2L Season 14 campaign, with an offering of SourceTV and Mumble Comms for every game in addition to the well-established Twitch stream of our superstar Swede, TviQ.

The offer still stands! Come one, come all. Admittedly, we’ve had one or two nights where the Mumble Relay was not active or we were unable to connect the HiperZ STV Relay to our opponent’s server. So whilst I apologise unreservedly where we have failed, I will contend that on the whole we have delivered on that which we promised.

And yet, if I were to draw a Venn diagram of two populations; those who actively compete in Team Fortress 2 and those who would consider watching us play top level competitive Team Fortress 2, I would expect the latter would be all but encompassed in the former.

We recognise that a sizeable proportion of the people who might actually be interested in this, the nerdiest of propositions, are themselves playing when we are going live. So today I will strike a blow for freedom and unchain you from your merciless team schedules; enter the Crack Clan Battle Report!

I have personally distilled this compendium of game logs, STV demos, Mumble recordings, Twitch and YouTube videos from the tears of bald eagles, the true essence of freedom. Some of you may suggest this is nothing but a glorified spread sheet… to which I would say you are clearly a communist devil.

Contained within these links may well be the secrets to unlocking your own true potential, the tools required to chisel and file the edges of your own imperfections and ascend to the pantheon of fortress gods.  At the very least you will be able to follow the progress, or lack thereof, of Crack Clan’s Premiership Team Fortress 2 roster.

Even though we do strive for a certain level of professionalism, one thing I can almost certainly guarantee you will find within are the occasional outbursts of foul language, trash talk and high emotion that one associates with testosterone and competition. If that sort of thing offends you, you may want to delete your internets now.

PCW Team Doctrinal Badlands 3 – 3 Log Demo Mumble
Gullywash 4 – 0 Log Demo Mumble
ETF2L Pokeman Badlands 6 – 2 Log Demo Mumble Twitch YouTube
Gullywash 4 – 2 Log Demo Mumble Twitch YouTube
PCW Pokeman Badlands 7 – 0 Log Demo Mumble Twitch
Snakewater 1 – 1 Log Demo Mumble Twitch
PCW Epsilon eSports Gullywash 3 – 3 Log Demo Twitch
Badlands 0 – 5 Log Demo Mumble Twitch
PCW Epsilon eSports Snakewater 0 – 5 Log Demo Mumble Twitch
Gullywash 1 – 5 Log Demo Mumble Twitch
ETF2L BFF Snakewater 5 – 2 Log Demo Mumble Twitch YouTube
Gullywash 2 – 3 Log Demo Mumble Twitch YouTube
PCW Epsilon eSports Badlands 0 – 5 Log Twitch
Snakewater 2 – 7 Log Twitch

Our ETF2L matches didn’t go entirely as planned. Pokeman (formerly made us sweat on Gullywash to overcome a two round deficit with ten minutes remaining. Underestimated by many due to their last minute roster reshuffle, I could see them in contention for a playoff spot come Week 7.

The big scalp of last season’s playoff sprint, BFF, seemed to have lost their cutting edge since November.  We found ourselves a map up after 30 minutes of Snakewater, but stonewall opening 15 on Gullywash left us racing against the clock and failing to convert advantages to rounds on the scoreboard as they turned us over on second the map for a well-earned draw.

Elsewhere it’s business as usual for us; getting regularly spanked in practise by Europe’s presiding warrior kings, Epsilon eSports. In our defence we have been experimenting with different mid-fight strategies and styles of play, albeit with mixed results. Back to the drawing board!

ETF2L Premier Division Table

Epsilon’s rough handling of Broder last night has only reminded everyone that they are still the team to beat. So that is our mission as we proceed in 2013. Finishing second last season was a great achievement, but gunning for anything short of the number one spot in Season 14 is unthinkable.

You can follow our schedule on this very site, also on our new Steam Community Group and on Twitter @crackclan to cheer us on every step of the way or just to watch us crash and burn.

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