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Shaddowmaster
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Post by Shaddowmaster » Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:42 am

I think the one with animal pr0n, it was just pure ownage
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weezer
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Post by weezer » Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:34 am

Shaddowmaster wrote:I think the one with animal pr0n, it was just pure ownage

Ballistic
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Post by Ballistic » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:13 pm

QueKees wrote: <codive> geez, can't computers GUESS what i want by now?
<syberghost> codive: sure, that's why you keep getting spam for animal pr0n.

Matilde> Hiroshima '45, Nagasaki '45, Chernobil '86, Windows '95


<SomeGuy> God: "Hello Osama?"
<SomeGuy> Osama: "Yes God"
<SomeGuy> God: "Osama.. did you hear about the tsunami?"
<SomeGuy> Oasama: "Yes"
<SomeGuy> God "Beat that you prick.."
Those! :D
"They don't pay you to play, they pay you to practice, to work hard, to be a pro. If you can't play it for free on Sunday you're in it for the wrong reasons" - Brett Favre

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A.Mo.K
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Post by A.Mo.K » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:47 pm

Ballistic wrote:
QueKees wrote: <codive> geez, can't computers GUESS what i want by now?
<syberghost> codive: sure, that's why you keep getting spam for animal pr0n.

Matilde> Hiroshima '45, Nagasaki '45, Chernobil '86, Windows '95


<SomeGuy> God: "Hello Osama?"
<SomeGuy> Osama: "Yes God"
<SomeGuy> God: "Osama.. did you hear about the tsunami?"
<SomeGuy> Oasama: "Yes"
<SomeGuy> God "Beat that you prick.."
Those! :D
exactly yea :lol: :lol: :lol: i couldnt stop laughin....
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"Oh naughy boy, stop touching me!" - Phoenix, May 23rd, 2007
"Sir, yes, sir! I'm BORN to do a hell of a lot, sir!" - Phoenix, May, 2nd 2007

CooKies
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Post by CooKies » Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:43 pm

:D np guys :D I love all of them tbh! ive had them on my computer for a while now and i laugh as much everytime i read them!

Glad to make ya day ;)
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-:- Pilots, i love your coCKpit -:-

Stardust
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Its an old one, but he, its Friday

Post by Stardust » Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:49 am


PhoeniX
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Re: Its an old one, but he, its Friday

Post by PhoeniX » Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:51 am

lolol that would be something for you, wouldn't it? :P

Stardust
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Re: Its an old one, but he, its Friday

Post by Stardust » Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:57 am

PhoeniX wrote:
lolol that would be something for you, wouldn't it? :P
wrong brand m8. :) And in this case I prefer the nurse... ;)

Stardust
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And another one for the Friday afternoon...

Post by Stardust » Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:58 am


Hanni
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Post by Hanni » Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:24 pm

Actual answers on a Catholic School Elementary test:
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.



2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.



3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.





4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.



5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.



6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.



7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.



8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.



9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.



10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.



11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.



12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.



13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.



14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.



15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.



16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.



17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.



18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.



19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.



20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.



21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.



22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.



23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.



24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.



25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

5URF3R
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Post by 5URF3R » Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:49 pm

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

BlackHawk5
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Wanna condom for that cigarette?

Post by BlackHawk5 » Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:02 pm

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mable: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.

weezer
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Post by weezer » Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:29 pm

nice blackhawk!!

Stardust
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will you take this elevator?

Post by Stardust » Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:02 pm


billflu
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Re: will you take this elevator?

Post by billflu » Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:04 am

That is a sweet paint job.

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